they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
