used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
