Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
