problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
birth control should be required to get into college
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
