There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
