I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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