we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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