At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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