he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
