God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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