if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
