Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
