Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
did i just pee glitter
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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