You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
