I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
