Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is wine microwaveable?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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