i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
