he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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