Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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