when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
