I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
everyone is single if you try hard enough
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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