I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
