a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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