Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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