So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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