There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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