hell yes lets make some ravioli
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
