so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
