I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
