i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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