Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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