Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
