i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
