this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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