how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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