that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
