he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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