How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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