why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
