What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
When are your genitals available?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
