Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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