Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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