It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
