I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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