He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
