We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
