their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
