just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
