fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
