pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
