that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
