What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
