You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
