Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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