I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
