brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize