if you like me you must not know who I am
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
