But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
