So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
