btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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